Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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