Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
