But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
