um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
