i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you didnt know i had herpes?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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