i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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