Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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