Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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