Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize