I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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