my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
