kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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