I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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