ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
