She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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