so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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