Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
