just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Its about making memories worth repressing
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
