I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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