Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
