Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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