Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
