I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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