Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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