I look better un-naked...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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