One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
