She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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