Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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