How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
