You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
