what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize