hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
