3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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