Too much gin, very little bucket
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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