His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
