some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
