how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
