Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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