This girl is more easily done than said...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Can vaginas get frostbite?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
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