Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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