Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
