can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize