youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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