I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
no you cant smoke seaweed
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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