I wannas sexs uuuuu
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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