If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
