Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
