he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
this just has baby written all over it
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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