Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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