Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
