Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Are my feet made of real feet?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
