Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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