I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
