erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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