Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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