I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
