Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
