pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
