At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
