i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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