Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My dick has a subreddit
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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