i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
