Nicole vs. Life
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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