TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
