I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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